I Quit
Independance Day... For the past several years, this holiday has proven to be disappointing at best. This year is no different.
I know I should be sitting on a tailgate somewhere staring into the glittering sky... ooh-ing and ahh-ing with the rest of the country... And yet, here I sit, alone in my living room, listening to the barely audible thunder which has no obvious connection to the rain that is falling.
I have to say that I am sad, and yet part of me accepts what has become my destiny.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I'd be a hermit lady before I reached the age of 30. I'm slowly realizing that I'm aging... maturing in a way that isn't exactly describable. Little things like no longer enjoying those stupid movies that feature potty jokes and boob shots. Like prefering a quality bottle of beer to the cheap stuff. And havin an issue with a guy who has nothing ins his fridge but EtOH.
So with the combination of my maturing tastes, and my apparent inability to secure myself a sweetheart for any decent amount of time, i'm calling it quits.
I QUIT searching for a man who can love me
I QUIT making excuses for being alone.
I QUIT feeling sorry for myself for being single.
I'm done smiling at men, comforting them, doing all that i can to elivate their ever so sensitive egos. I'm done making myself eternally availible for all of my "bene-friends". I'm done playing thier games. I'm no longer going to nod my head in agreement through the "I'm really not ready to settle down" talk. No longer am i going to let my self worth be defined by the time I spend with a guy who can't just tell me... "ya know... i just totally dig hanging out with you... I don't wanna hang with anyone else."
I quit making excuses for my colorful past. What's done is done. I can't change it. But if you can't get past it, well then why waste my time?
And on that note, i'm done wasting my time... no longer accepting late night phone calls, no more clearing my schedule... no more txt's. I'm done. Finshed.
Dont bother waking me up before you go.
I know I should be sitting on a tailgate somewhere staring into the glittering sky... ooh-ing and ahh-ing with the rest of the country... And yet, here I sit, alone in my living room, listening to the barely audible thunder which has no obvious connection to the rain that is falling.
I have to say that I am sad, and yet part of me accepts what has become my destiny.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I'd be a hermit lady before I reached the age of 30. I'm slowly realizing that I'm aging... maturing in a way that isn't exactly describable. Little things like no longer enjoying those stupid movies that feature potty jokes and boob shots. Like prefering a quality bottle of beer to the cheap stuff. And havin an issue with a guy who has nothing ins his fridge but EtOH.
So with the combination of my maturing tastes, and my apparent inability to secure myself a sweetheart for any decent amount of time, i'm calling it quits.
I QUIT searching for a man who can love me
I QUIT making excuses for being alone.
I QUIT feeling sorry for myself for being single.
I'm done smiling at men, comforting them, doing all that i can to elivate their ever so sensitive egos. I'm done making myself eternally availible for all of my "bene-friends". I'm done playing thier games. I'm no longer going to nod my head in agreement through the "I'm really not ready to settle down" talk. No longer am i going to let my self worth be defined by the time I spend with a guy who can't just tell me... "ya know... i just totally dig hanging out with you... I don't wanna hang with anyone else."
I quit making excuses for my colorful past. What's done is done. I can't change it. But if you can't get past it, well then why waste my time?
And on that note, i'm done wasting my time... no longer accepting late night phone calls, no more clearing my schedule... no more txt's. I'm done. Finshed.
Dont bother waking me up before you go.
posted by Rebecca at 8:36 PM
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